I’ve sat down to write this post a few times, and every time I’ve just stared at the screen blankly. No words. Or rather, I’ve been unable to find them.
I’ve hit an emotional wall.
And I’ve done nothing but eat my feelings for the last couple of weeks.
I’ve been sick – first a stomach bug, then a cold which has continued as a cough that just won’t quit.
Work’s been a massive time-suck as we hit our busy period. And I (perhaps irrationally) feel bullied into taking it all on my shoulders.
Between these two, I’ve struggled to make time for anything else – except food.
We’re talking two chocolate based a day kind of bad. To make it worse, I’ve been hiding it.
I know my eating habits are a problem because I’m ashamed to show them to anyone else.
I am undoing all of my hard work.
Knowing that this is destructive, damaging behaviour only serves to make me feel worse. And – in a vicious cycle that so many of us are familiar with – I eat to make myself feel better.
I’m spiralling downwards and I don’t know how to pull the brakes.
Logically, I know what I want to achieve. That I want to be healthy. That I need to eat well. And that exercising, and eating well, will actually help me feel better.
But… in practice… I just don’t know how to get there.
Have you been here, too?
What did you do to help yourself?